The 10 minute drive to Stanford Cancer Center felt like it took an hour.
Have you ever found yourself standing still with the world around you passing you by?
That's what this felt like. I was stuck, unable to move forward. Every thing else around me was on fast forward. Moving at warp speed, but I was motionless.
We arrived at the clinic, waiting another hour and was finally seen. Dr. Chen was him name, he would be going over the path results. The words Follicular Lymphoma come out of his mouth and I am relived, so this means nothing has changed. Still no plan to do the transplant.
We need a bone marrow sample in order to "stage" the cancer. I have had this before and I know it hurts like hell! Oh, shit , lets just get this over with. I am lying face down on the table, he scrubs me with betadine, gives me a local to numb the tissue." Sorry, there is no way to numb the inside of the bone, so I won't lie, this does not feel good." I turn my head to look at my beautiful husband , I can see him cringe as he shuts his eyes tight, I feel a deep piercing pain and it is over. Another biopsy done!
So, the plan....
I will need a heart scan to make sure my heart can handle one of the chemo drugs. I have had this drug before therefore, this may have caused heart damage due to the toxicity. In order to get it a second time, my heart must be healthy.
The chemo of choice is called- R-CHOP, this will be given intravenously every three weeks for six cycles., and YES, I WILL LOSE MY HAIR!, Bummer! I just grew out all my crappy chemo hair from the last time. I am having my good friend Rosanna (hair stylist) give me my pre-treatment buzz cut next week. The last time I waiting until my hair fell into my dinner plate an left me packages on pillow every morning. Not this time!
Sorry, getting off track.
The drug Rituxan is considered a "miracle drug" for NHL. Most of the time this is the only drug used to treat first time NHL's. In my case they are calling it "aggressive" behavior, therefore the moderate treatment plan is of choice. Each infusion will take 4-6 hours to ad minster.
The biggest concern is the threat of infection when the blood counts are down. I will need to be safe during these times.
Midway through treatment, I will have another PET scan to determine if the nodes have shrunk. The hope is to get remission at that point and keep it there. Since there is no "cure" for this cancer it, however is very treatable and in many circumstances just gets watched. A patient can have many, many years of a quality lifestyle even with active disease.
So, I will face my challenges as they come, hopefully not for a long, long time. In the meantime,
this is what I will do for now.
I am still scheduled for June 5th.
The best part of today: My daughter Shae, making me fresh carrot/celery juice.
The worse part of today: Seeing my husband feel my pain.
1 comment:
Ugh. You poor thing, you are SOOO brave! At least the biopsy is over with. Ouch.
Keeping our fingers crossed!
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