Did he hear my prayers?

Today did not start off so well. My mind is racing, why are the results taking so long?, why haven't I heard from any of my doctors?, maybe it's worse than they thought? Could it possibly get any worse? All that I am thinking is, "what am I going to do if they tell me I only have weeks to live". I hear about patients that get that same news. It has to be given to someone. Is that person going to be me? There is too much I need to do before I can go. I need more time.

Feeling pretty sad, I did my usual candle lighting at St.Pius church, bowed my head and prayed. 

This time I did not feel the reassurance I usually get when I visit this special place. I thought, "I may be in trouble". Needing to drive and collect my thoughts, I drove to the farm, still sore from surgery, saddled up my horse and took a ride. This gave me peace and I began to collect my inner strength to face what ever I needed to get through this. 

Driving back home, I began to feel numb. I ran out of emotions. I was completely drained. The minutest that  passed  felt like hours. Still no phone calls. 

At 5:00 pm the phone rings, it's Dr. Gregg the surgeon to tell me he has the biopsy results.

It's lymphoma, but this time it is Non- Hodgkin's Lymphoma. Just as they suspected, it was a different kind of Lymphoma. They call it follicular lymphoma grade 3. What this means is it is NOT considered a re-lapse since I was never treated for this type of cancer. What this means is I will NOT have to undergo a stem cell or bone marrow transplant. I am lucky enough to give this a try with chemo only.

The prognosis stays the same, but I am about to embark on a much easier journey with the treatment. So, for me and my family, I am blessed , my ( our ) prayers were heard!

There are a few more pathology results to get confirmed before I begin my treatment. 

I am still planning on starting treatment next week, but I will get to come home. Drive myself to and from treatments and bet your butt I will kick ass all the way through it!

This means I am back on my horse, enduring and enjoying every minute my trainer is drilling me to keep my shoulders back, tighten my ass, hold on tight with my calves, keep my elbows anchored to my sides, all with a BIG SMILE on my face!

I will keep you posted on the next step.

My favorite part of today: Telling my family, "I will not need a transplant" (maybe keeping some hair?)

My worse part of today: Waiting for the phone call.