This is the unconfirmed plan, we need tissue to confirm the type of lymphoma this is. Originally, I was diagnosed with Hodgkin's Lymphoma ( HL) chances for relapse are very rare. My cure rate was 85%! This time, we suspect it may be non-Hodgkin's lymphoma. (NHL) Present from the first time, however unable to have been diagnosed due to the area it was located. That means I could have had two types of cancer in my body.
Surgical biopsy is scheduled for this week. Whether it is HL or NHL, the treatment is the same. This treatment is called a "stem cell transplant". Pretty scary and very invasive. I will be treated with the highest form of chemo a human can endure.
In the end the plan is to kill every living cell in my body including my bone marrow, hopefully keeping me alive during the process. Then transplanting my own "clean" cells ( harvested after I go into remission) back into my lifeless body with hopes of a cure. With many months of recovery and remission I can go on to live a healthy life. As I get more info on the exact names and procedures of this process, I will share them with you.
For now, I am scheduled for my first in-patient chemo round at Stanford on June 5th. I will get 48 hours of "poison" run through my veins, then recover for a few more days until I can be released back home where I will continue to recover. Then a few weeks later we will repeat the process. Another scan will be ordered to confirm that I am in remission, this is when I will need all your prayers and positive energy sent my way. If the cancer is gone, then we go back into the hospital to "harvest" all my good cells that will be stored and transplanted on my new
"birthday".
Hopefully there are enough ( billions) cells to collect for transplantation.
A short recovery at home, then back to the hospital for the transplant. This is were is gets "ugly". I will spare you all until I get more accurate info on this since this sounds like, under isolation, they will slowly kill me over 5 days then transplant my own cells back, where I will, by the grace of GOD, come back to life.
My plan is to keep this journal up to date so that all of you can keep sending me your good and positive vibes. That is what got me through the first battle and will get me through my last battle. Since this is the last time I am going to allow this to happen to my life.
I spend most of my time finding inner strength and keeping peace in my soul. As most of you cannot relate ( and I don't want any of you to ever have to ) once you are a "cancer patient", it never really leaves you. Your mind and soul are scarred forever and you find yourself always asking for one more day. Thinking, is today the day it comes back?
For me, I have found my horses as my therapy, I mean outside my family and friends of course. Riding my horses have given me so much joy and passion. Where other "patients' struggle to find comfort in living life after cancer, I was blessed to connect with these strong beautiful animals and they give me freedom from the fear of living. I have and do enjoy everyday of my life, my family, my friends.
If I can ask you to do anything for me, it would be to keep me in your thoughts, send me positive e-mails and funny cards, but please no sad ones.
Try NOT to make me the center of gossip or have too much pity for me. This will only create negative energy that I do not need.
Be supportive to my family, especially my lovely mother who at the age of 76 should not have to be spending her life taking care of me.
As mother's yourselves I am sure you can imagine how hard this would be if this was your child. At any age your baby, will always be your baby.
Food- I appreciate all the offers, but keeping a somewhat normal routine at home will be the best. My dear friends the Moran's have generously offered Monday meals at home. I am sure my extended family ( hint hint) will bring us their favorite dishes.
Prayers, as a devoted Christian I hope to have some answers someday on why this has happened to me, three times. It will be the first thing I ask! For now I keep my faith strong and continue to believe in the power of prayer. For those of you who believe, you can continue to keep me in your prayers.
On behalf of my girls, thank you for all the support that has poured in from all of their wonderful friends. I am so happy they have friends in their life like you.
I think that is it for now. As long as I am able, I will continue to report my progress.
Be well!
Tina
No comments:
Post a Comment