artists: Shae and KailaBesides the severe headache that woke me up, my body hurt, my insides felt like they were being eaten away. Is that the chemo working? Along with the tumors being destroyed, so am I.
I hesitate to reach for any pain meds in fear that I am contaminating my body, but what I am afraid of? It does not get any more toxic than this. I try to continue to eat healthy and organic. Is this helping? Perhaps, for my mind only. I cannot add another piece of poison to my body.
Juicing my "greens" everyday, grinding wheat grass, which by the ways, sucks and tastes like I am eating a by product of a old lawn! Avoiding all my favorite "bad" foods, like "In and Out Burger" and a good old fashioned hot dog. Not to mention the foods I am ordered by the doctors not to eat, like my all-time favorite, sushi, salad bars and french cheeses. Since one of the side effects from the chemo is a condition called "neutropenia", this is caused when your white blood cell count drops and you are unable to fight simple infections such as from a cut or cold, and the ability to fight off any 'bad bugs" that might be in raw food. One bad bug could put me in the hospital or even worse. (we won't talk about that)
I get a shot of "Nulasta" after each infusion. This shot revs up my bone marrow to produce more white blood cells and with this comes intense bone pain especially in the lower back and hips as your marrow works in overtime to produce these cells quicker than the chemo can kill them off.
This is day 8 after my first round, about the time that my counts can "bottom out". I have realized that is why I feel like SHIT. I am hopeful that the days to come will be better and next week should be my best week. Then we start over again...
My family continues to be at my " beck and call." Never leaving me alone and always offering their help. My youngest daughter, Shae has given up her summer vacation to be my personal nurse.
She has not left my side for a minute. Be careful not to say anything about "mom" when she is around , she has my back!
Knowing I had a pretty awful day yesterday, I woke up this morning to my surprise was a 5
foot "healing horse" made from paper towels, Clorox wipes, toilet paper rolls, and a ribbon for a tail. My daughters worked all night to create this for me. You can only imagine how happy this made me and what a proud "mama" I am.
Today, I WILL feel better.
Best part of today: My "healing horse".
Worse part of today: Feeling sick.
2 comments:
Your girls are so special. I know this is very hard right now. Listen to your body and it will get stronger!
Hi Tina,
I read your blog daily and wish you the best. Your family sounds wonderful. Even though we have never met...I am thinking of you. I am about 6 months ahead of you in my journey back to health. Chemo sucks!!! It was worse for me the second time than the first time I went through it 3 years ago. It surprised me how much of the battle is mental as well as physical. You have been through this before and you will recover.
Let your body tell you what it needs to eat. It knows whats it needs to nourish itself.
Take care,
Margaret (mstonich@gmail.com)
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